The Wedding Ceremony - Part 3
The Wedding Party
Who to Include
It is a very special thing to be asked to be in a wedding party; it also carries with it a lot of responsibility and often considerable financial cost, so choose prudently. Think of the people you ask to be in the party and ask yourself if they are all people you believe will be important in your life for years to come. Anyone who you see in this light will be honored to be in your party and should treat his or her responsibilities accordingly.
Consider the size of your party. Where is the wedding going to take place? Is the altar big enough to fit the number of people you want involved in the ceremony? The size of your wedding party should be a consideration when picking a place for the ceremony.
Also, you don't have to have the same number of bridesmaids as groomsmen. The bride and groom should each make a list of who they want in their party. Hopefully the list will have the same number of bridesmaids as groomsmen. If the number is not even, you can assign other jobs to some of them, such as usher. The hope is to have one groomsman walk each bridesmaid down the aisle and dance with her at the appropriate time during the reception; but if you have a couple of extra ushers, they can walk down the aisle together. The rule of thumb is one usher to every fifty guests, but you can certainly bend the rule if you want.
Make sure you ask your party to stand with you at least six months before the wedding. This is a very important and expensive decision for them to make (all wedding party members are expected to pay for their own wedding attire), and some of them will not be able to do it. Give yourself ample time to ask alternates.
Roles
The traditional roles of the wedding party include:
-
Maid or Matron of Honor
- Helps the bride with invitations
- Keeps a record of bridal shower and wedding gifts
- Helps with shopping and other pre-wedding arrangements
- Arranges a bridal shower (with the bridesmaids)
- Helps the bride get dressed for the wedding (with the bridesmaids)
- Arranges the bride's train and veil at the altar
- Gives the bride the groom's ring at the appropriate time in the ceremony
- Holds the bride's bouquet while the bride exchanges rings with the groom
- Signs the wedding certificate with the best man as a witness
- Stands in the receiving line (optional)
- Helps the bride change clothes after the reception
- Takes charge of the bridal gown after the wedding
- Assists the bride in any additional planning
- Organizes the bachelor party (which is optional)
- Drives the groom to the ceremony
- Gives the groom the bride's ring during the ceremony
- Gives the payment check to the officiant either just before or just after the ceremony (the groom's family traditionally pays for this)
- Gives the payment check to the other service providers like chauffeurs and reception coordinators (if the families wish him to do so)
- Returns the groom's attire if rented
- Keep a gift record at the shower (usually one bridesmaid only)
- Help the maid of honor organize the shower
- Assist the bride and maid of honor with any pre-wedding shopping or arranging they ask for
- Help the bride dress for the ceremony
- Arrive early to the hall in order to help set up the room, especially with last minute little touches such as candles and ribbons
- Escort guests to their seats
- Meet and welcome guests of honor (such as grandparents) and escort them to their seats
- Help straighten up after the ceremony
- Make sure all the wedding gifts are put in a secure place after the reception
- Help decorate the newlyweds' car
- Helps the bride choose her gown and accessories, and helps assemble the bridal trousseau
- Helps the bride select the bridesmaids' attire
- Coordinates her own attire with the mother of the groom
- Works with the bride and the groom's family to coordinate a guest list and seating plan
- Helps address and mail invitations
- Helps the attendants coordinate the bridal shower
- Stands at the front of the receiving line (optional)
- May act as hostess of the reception
- Occupies a seat of honor at the parents' table
This person has more responsibilities than any other in the wedding party. The Maid of Honor:
Other than making sure the groom overcomes cold feet, the Best Man:
Bridesmaids
Groomsmen
Mother of the bride
Children
If you're looking for wedding party roles for the special kids in your life, here are the traditional positions filled by children:
Girls younger than eight are usually trainbearers or flower girls. Girls older than eight can be junior bridesmaids. They get to stand with the wedding party, but have none of the responsibilities of the other bridesmaids, and may wear a different dress. Young boys can be ringbearers or pages. The flower girl is the last person down the aisle before the bride. She carries a basket of fresh petals and sprinkles them on the ground for the bride to walk on. The ringbearer walks down the aisle before the flower girl. He carries a satin pillow with two fake wedding rings sewn into it. The maid of honor and best man have the real rings. The pages/trainbearers walk behind the bride and carry the train of her wedding dress. You can have pages even if your train is not that long, if there are kids you want to be in the ceremony. Pages can be boys or girls. Usually there are two of them together.
