Planning The Wedding - Part 1
When Cinderella was swept off her feet by her prince, one can only imagine that what followed was a big white wedding, full of pomp and circumstance -- the palace court in attendance and celebrations of dancing and feasting that the peasants of the village paid for in taxes for years to come.
The reality is, a fairy-tale wedding costs money. Taxpayers do not pick up the cost. And for most couples of average means, planning a wedding requires some compromises, a limited budget, and a lot of planning.
Getting Started
As a couple, the first step in planning a wedding is deciding what style and size you want. You must decide whether you want a civil or a religious ceremony. You need to decide whether you want a formal or a casual affair. You also need to set a budget total, keeping in mind that the average-sized wedding can cost well over ten thousand dollars.
After the bride and groom have discussed these issues, it is time to bring in the families for more discussions ... and more compromises. The families' expectations about the style, traditions, and religion in the ceremony and financing the affair are all issues the couple will want to discuss with their families. This is the time to have honest discussions about how the expenses will be divided up and how much those wishing to contribute can realistically afford to spend.
With a preliminary plan in mind, start calling around. Get estimates from some of the reception locations you're considering to see if what you're considering is, in fact, realistic. If necessary, change your plans now, rather than later.
Choosing a Style
A fantasy, or theme, wedding can be what fairy tales are made of, but they also require an inordinate amount of planning. Wedding reception locations, such as a hotel or a private club, with an on-site package deal that includes most of the details -- such as the staffing, food and drinks, flowers, and wedding cake -- can be more convenient for a busy couple. And outdoor weddings, such as in a garden or historical setting, can be beautiful in their own way, but again, they can require more planning and can be dependent on the weather.
Weddings can be formal or informal. They can be a candlelit night affair, or they can be a casual morning church ceremony followed by a champagne breakfast with a menu of coffees, teas, rolls, muffins, crepes, and fresh fruit.
A wedding can be anything the bride and groom want it to be, provided they are willing to take the time to plan it and can afford what they want. However, once a wedding style is selected, stick to it. The style or theme should be consistent in all the elements of the wedding -- from the wedding attire to the decorations, party favors, food, and entertainment.
The possibilities are endless, but here are a few style types to start with:
Theme weddings: Themes can center around any common interest or hobby the couple shares, a location, an ethnic culture, a season or holiday, an era, or anything else. The theme can be exhibited in the location of the ceremony and reception, dress of the participants and guests, decorations, and food. The advantage of a theme wedding is an endless opportunity for expressing your personalities and creativity. The disadvantage is the high level of planning involved. If the affair is held in an unusual place, such as a yacht, gallery, amusement park, or botanical garden, be prepared to deal with logistics such as bathroom facilities, kitchens, parking, and guest accessibility.
Destination weddings: Some couples, out of a desire to cut back expenses, to avoid the work and stress of planning a large wedding, to get away from troublesome situations with family, or just to escape to a romantic location to start their new life, choose to combine their weddings and honeymoons and get married far from home. Popular spots include the Caribbean, Hawaii, Las Vegas, Jamaica, even Disney World. Like theme weddings, the possibilities are endless.
Arrangements can be made long-distance with a wedding/catering coordinator of a honeymoon resort. Packages, which can accommodate 2 - 10 people, often include the use of the location, an officiant, champagne, wedding cake, reception, flowers, musicianfor the wedding night.
Outdoor weddings/receptions: Whether the party is held in a beautiful garden, by a lake or by the seashore, the advantage of having the unmatched beauty of nature as a backdrop is offset by the chance of rain or a heat wave. An alternate plan, such as renting a tent, is recommended. Tents today come technologically advanced, usually including the option of generators for heating, air-conditioning, and cooking to provide full protection regardless of the conditions outside. They can be rented in all sizes, from seating twenty-five guests to seating thousands. The cost of a tented affair is similar to, or a little above, the cost of holding a similar function in an established location. The tented affair may cost a little more because all of the items are rented separately.
Indoor receptions: In a private home, or in a rented hall at a hotel, club, or restaurant, an indoor reception is probably the most common choice. Some locations, referred to as "on-site," provide most, if not all, of the services you need: food and drink, staff, tables, linens, and maybe flowers, cake, and music.
On-site locations include hotels, restaurants, clubs, halls, and sometimes historic or converted buildings set up to accommodate functions. The advantage of going this route is the convenience of buying one package to meet almost all of your needs. A disadvantage is losing the chance to plan the details yourself. You may be penalized for making alternate plans, such as bringing your own wedding cake.
Off-site locations, which can be a private home, an historic setting, or any other private function area, will not provide many extra services beyond the use of the location. As a result, you will probably need to hire a caterer that can meet many of those needs, and you may want to consider hiring a wedding coordinator to help you pull together the details. The advantage is, of course, the creativity allowed in making all of your own decisions.
