The Wedding Ceremony - Part 1

Religious Customs

The first question you must ask yourself is whether you want a religious or a secular wedding. If you opt for a religious ceremony and you do not belong to a house of worship, give yourself plenty of time to find the right place and the right officiant. Some congregations won't allow a guest officiant to perform a wedding, or won't marry people who are not members. Also, make sure you give yourself time to fulfill any premarital requirements of your house of worship. Some churches and temples require a program of premarital counseling or preparation which can last from weeks to months before you can take your nuptials.

Here are some aspects of a few religious ceremonies:

Catholic
In Catholicism, marriage is one of the seven holy sacraments. The Catholic ceremony begins with the priest greeting the couple and the guests and saying an opening prayer. The Liturgy of the Word is then read by a person of your choosing, explaining the importance of marriage, followed by a homily about marriage delivered by the priest. The priest then asks the couple to declare their consent to marry. Finally, there is the blessing and exchange of the rings, as well as vows. A Catholic marriage is not valid unless it is performed by a priest in the presence of two witnesses. Some Catholic weddings include Holy Communion.

Protestant
"Protestant" suggests a number of denominations, but there are certain aspects of a wedding that you can expect at any Protestant ceremony.

After the wedding party walks up the aisle, a Prayer of Blessing is said, and passages are read from Scriptures. The parents give their affirmation through the Giving in Marriage. Vows and rings are exchanged. The celebration of the Lord's Supper takes place, the unity candle is lit, and the Benediction is given. The Recessional then takes place.

Jewish
Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform weddings have their specific rituals, but here are some aspects of the Jewish wedding which remain constant:

The marriage ceremony occurs under a chuppah, an ornamented canopy (optional in a Reform ceremony). The ketubah, or wedding contract, is presented and signed by the groom and witnesses. The ketubah delineates the groom's responsibilities to his wife. The seven Blessings are recited. The bride and groom drink blessed wine; the groom then smashes a glass - wrapped in a napkin - by stomping on it with his foot. The guests celebrate by yelling "Mazel tov!" ("Good luck") to the couple.

Interfaith Wedding

More and more interfaith weddings take place these days. An interfaith marriage can be a beautiful celebration of diversity and unity. Some religions allow officiants from other faiths to perform ceremonies in their houses of worship. Many people have two ceremonies of different faiths back to back. Consult with your house of worship to see what their policies and requirements are. For example, the Catholic Church will marry a Catholic and a non-Catholic. The non-Catholic does not need to convert in order to marry a Catholic. A Catholic and a Protestant can marry in the church with one officiant from each denomination performing the ceremony. Non-Christian clergy are not allowed to perform ceremonies in the Catholic Church, however.

Civil and Military

If you are not strongly affiliated with a religion, you can have a judge, justice of the peace, notary public, or some other civil official marry you (check with your county's marriage-license bureau or municipal clerk's office to find out who can legally marry you in your county).

You can do this ceremony in the officiant's office in City Hall. Usually these ceremonies are shorter and smaller. Often they dispense with the rituals and trimmings of a religious ceremony (you could wear a floor-length dress, instead of a wedding gown). Or you can find a location like a country club and have a full-scale ceremony in one part of the club (perhaps in a garden), then move to the ballroom for the reception. Couples also hold civil ceremonies in a hotel or private home.

Military ceremonies can be held only if either the bride or groom is an active or retired member of the military. You can't use the chapel of an army base just because one of your parents is in the service. If the groom is a member of the military, he will wear his military dress. If the bride is in the service, she can opt for a wedding gown or her military dress. Other members of the wedding party who are in the military can also wear their military dress. The groom may or may not wear a sword. If he does, the bride stands to his right; if he does not, she stands to his left.

Seating at a military wedding poses an extra challenge. Any high-ranking officials must be seated in places of honor. The rest of the guests are seated according to rank. The end of a military ceremony offers a special treat; the bride and groom walk through an arch created by soldiers holding their swords high.